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resolved:
I'm swearing off all giving of unsolicited advice for Lent. (No, I'm not observant, but it's a useful timeframe.)
I'm doing it because I have discovered how incredibly bleeping annoying unsolicited advice is, and I need to recognize that, as helpful or useful as I think a particular nugget of insight (ha ha) is, to someone else, it might very well be the same kind of incredible bleeping annoyingness that I loathe.
For the sake of sanity, 'unsolicited advice' does not include, 'tonight it would be a good if you would do the dishes, dear,' because that's not advice -- it's an observation/reminder that I need the dishes done if I'm to cook dinner tomorrow. I can also offer solicited advice. However! If someone asks for advice on a topic, I can't offer adivce about a different-but-related topic. If they say "How can I save money buying meat?" I can say, "I save money with [meat-buying methods X, Y and Z]," but I cannot say, "I save money by eating more vegetables!" That's not what they asked. (And this is also a realm in which I get readily driven crazy: "How can I protect myself from [virus] on Windows XP SP3?" is not usefully answered by "Get a Mac!", and "How can I deal with [social problem caused by introversion]?" is not usefully answered by "Become an extrovert!" So I should avoid crazymaking others in the same way.)
We'll see how it goes.
I'm doing it because I have discovered how incredibly bleeping annoying unsolicited advice is, and I need to recognize that, as helpful or useful as I think a particular nugget of insight (ha ha) is, to someone else, it might very well be the same kind of incredible bleeping annoyingness that I loathe.
For the sake of sanity, 'unsolicited advice' does not include, 'tonight it would be a good if you would do the dishes, dear,' because that's not advice -- it's an observation/reminder that I need the dishes done if I'm to cook dinner tomorrow. I can also offer solicited advice. However! If someone asks for advice on a topic, I can't offer adivce about a different-but-related topic. If they say "How can I save money buying meat?" I can say, "I save money with [meat-buying methods X, Y and Z]," but I cannot say, "I save money by eating more vegetables!" That's not what they asked. (And this is also a realm in which I get readily driven crazy: "How can I protect myself from [virus] on Windows XP SP3?" is not usefully answered by "Get a Mac!", and "How can I deal with [social problem caused by introversion]?" is not usefully answered by "Become an extrovert!" So I should avoid crazymaking others in the same way.)
We'll see how it goes.
no subject
Who ever encouraged you to become an extrovert needs to squished into a magic lamp and kept there for a few hundred years. Why would you need to be extrovert? Why would anyone aspire to that? It is a very mediocre skill and only useful in very peculiar situations.
Good luck!
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That is not unsolicited advice. That is a politely worded COMMAND! And as long as such are being directed from a cute girl towards her SO (i'm kinda presuming jmpava thinks you're cute at least ;) then all is well with the world :) (Although clearly i have a couple of biases in that regard =)
I can't remember being bothered by unsolicited advice from you very often, but obviously i am not everybody, so i am not going to presume to comment on whether this is a good idea or not :)
no subject
Actually, it's even simpler then that. That's not advice, that's a very simple logical pathway: "The kitchen is too cluttered. Therefore, tonight would be a good time to do the dishes, because otherwise I will be unable to cook and you will get no food and starve, mwa ha ha."
no subject