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coraaI'm swearing off all giving of unsolicited advice for Lent. (No, I'm not observant, but it's a useful timeframe.)
I'm doing it because I have discovered how incredibly bleeping annoying unsolicited advice is, and I need to recognize that, as helpful or useful as I think a particular nugget of insight (ha ha) is, to someone else, it might very well be the same kind of incredible bleeping annoyingness that I loathe.
For the sake of sanity, 'unsolicited advice' does not include, 'tonight it would be a good if you would do the dishes, dear,' because that's not advice -- it's an observation/reminder that I need the dishes done if I'm to cook dinner tomorrow. I can also offer solicited advice. However! If someone asks for advice on a topic, I can't offer adivce about a different-but-related topic. If they say "How can I save money buying meat?" I can say, "I save money with [meat-buying methods X, Y and Z]," but I cannot say, "I save money by eating more vegetables!" That's not what they asked. (And this is also a realm in which I get readily driven crazy: "How can I protect myself from [virus] on Windows XP SP3?" is not usefully answered by "Get a Mac!", and "How can I deal with [social problem caused by introversion]?" is not usefully answered by "Become an extrovert!" So I should avoid crazymaking others in the same way.)
We'll see how it goes.
I'm doing it because I have discovered how incredibly bleeping annoying unsolicited advice is, and I need to recognize that, as helpful or useful as I think a particular nugget of insight (ha ha) is, to someone else, it might very well be the same kind of incredible bleeping annoyingness that I loathe.
For the sake of sanity, 'unsolicited advice' does not include, 'tonight it would be a good if you would do the dishes, dear,' because that's not advice -- it's an observation/reminder that I need the dishes done if I'm to cook dinner tomorrow. I can also offer solicited advice. However! If someone asks for advice on a topic, I can't offer adivce about a different-but-related topic. If they say "How can I save money buying meat?" I can say, "I save money with [meat-buying methods X, Y and Z]," but I cannot say, "I save money by eating more vegetables!" That's not what they asked. (And this is also a realm in which I get readily driven crazy: "How can I protect myself from [virus] on Windows XP SP3?" is not usefully answered by "Get a Mac!", and "How can I deal with [social problem caused by introversion]?" is not usefully answered by "Become an extrovert!" So I should avoid crazymaking others in the same way.)
We'll see how it goes.