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Scary Church: Introduction
Aug. 27th, 2009 07:16 pmSomething like two? three? years ago, at Thanksgiving at my boyfriend's father's house, the following conversation took place.
I don't remember how it came up, but I was talking about my scary school, associated with a scary church that my parents are still semi-associated with. I referred to it as "scary school." The person I was talking to (a friend of my boyfriend's father, a gay man) raised an eyebrow, and chuckled a little, in a way that I am familiar with.
"Scary?" he asked.
"Um," I said, and flailed a bit, and settled on, "...super-conservative Christian?"
"Ah," he said, but I could see that he was being, well, tolerant, in that way that people often are when they're talking to twentysomethings who are talking about their upbringings. "Scary?"
"Yeah," I said, and then fumbled, trying to figure out how to explain the environment I'd grown up in.
And then my semi-step-grandmother-in-law* stepped in. (She's from the same town I grew up in -- funny coincidences!) She's a woman in her... eighties? Something like that. With a very strong and also very likable personality. "She means it," she said. "They really are scary."
"Oh?" The raised brow lowers.
"They believe in slavery. I mean, they believe that slavery is just fine, and that the South should have continued as they were, without any Northern intervention of any kind."
The person I'd been talking to sat back in his chair. "Really?"
"Yes. And that women are inherently inferior to men. And a lot of other stuff."
"Oh," he said. "That is pretty scary."
"Yes," she said. "And if I hadn't said anything, you would have thought that she [me] was exaggerating, wouldn't you?"
"Yes," he admitted. "Probably."
"It really is that bad," she said.
And that's how I want to begin, talking about my junior high and high school. Some of the people I went to school with were lovely people. But it really is that bad. Slavery. Denial of any rights to women. Child abuse.
It really is that bad. And it's more common than you think. (And that's why I don't believe that the work of feminism -- or antiracism, or anticlassim, or wahatever -- is done. It's more common than you think, and it really is that bad.)
I'll post more, when I figure out where to go from here; I'm going to tag it all as 'scary church.' But when I say that I grew up with scary people, this is what I mean: slavery, denial of women's equality, right up front and on the table.
And it's more common than you think.
* - Semi-step-grandmother-in-law: My boyfriend's father's partner's mother. Funnily enough, she's actually a pretty conservative person -- but you can be 'pretty conservative' and still think that my adolescent school-slash-church is absolutely beyond the pale.
I am deliberately not mentioning the name of the school, the church, the pastor, or my hometown. They egosearch; I got away, and I do not want to be found again. But if you're really curious, e-mail me, and I'll give you more info on who I'm talking about.
I don't remember how it came up, but I was talking about my scary school, associated with a scary church that my parents are still semi-associated with. I referred to it as "scary school." The person I was talking to (a friend of my boyfriend's father, a gay man) raised an eyebrow, and chuckled a little, in a way that I am familiar with.
"Scary?" he asked.
"Um," I said, and flailed a bit, and settled on, "...super-conservative Christian?"
"Ah," he said, but I could see that he was being, well, tolerant, in that way that people often are when they're talking to twentysomethings who are talking about their upbringings. "Scary?"
"Yeah," I said, and then fumbled, trying to figure out how to explain the environment I'd grown up in.
And then my semi-step-grandmother-in-law* stepped in. (She's from the same town I grew up in -- funny coincidences!) She's a woman in her... eighties? Something like that. With a very strong and also very likable personality. "She means it," she said. "They really are scary."
"Oh?" The raised brow lowers.
"They believe in slavery. I mean, they believe that slavery is just fine, and that the South should have continued as they were, without any Northern intervention of any kind."
The person I'd been talking to sat back in his chair. "Really?"
"Yes. And that women are inherently inferior to men. And a lot of other stuff."
"Oh," he said. "That is pretty scary."
"Yes," she said. "And if I hadn't said anything, you would have thought that she [me] was exaggerating, wouldn't you?"
"Yes," he admitted. "Probably."
"It really is that bad," she said.
And that's how I want to begin, talking about my junior high and high school. Some of the people I went to school with were lovely people. But it really is that bad. Slavery. Denial of any rights to women. Child abuse.
It really is that bad. And it's more common than you think. (And that's why I don't believe that the work of feminism -- or antiracism, or anticlassim, or wahatever -- is done. It's more common than you think, and it really is that bad.)
I'll post more, when I figure out where to go from here; I'm going to tag it all as 'scary church.' But when I say that I grew up with scary people, this is what I mean: slavery, denial of women's equality, right up front and on the table.
And it's more common than you think.
* - Semi-step-grandmother-in-law: My boyfriend's father's partner's mother. Funnily enough, she's actually a pretty conservative person -- but you can be 'pretty conservative' and still think that my adolescent school-slash-church is absolutely beyond the pale.
I am deliberately not mentioning the name of the school, the church, the pastor, or my hometown. They egosearch; I got away, and I do not want to be found again. But if you're really curious, e-mail me, and I'll give you more info on who I'm talking about.
